Daughter claims father threatened to kill her if she did not ‘follow family ideals’

A young woman who alleged her father threatened to kill her if she did not “follow family ideals” and that both parents had isolated her in the family home got protection orders against them. Her parents did not want her to be educated or to work outside the home “as it was against family morals” and withdrew her from school to be home-educated for a number of years, the woman told the emergency domestic violence court at Dolphin House in Dublin. Her father removed her bedroom door at one point and slept outside her room, she said.On an occasion earlier this year he attempted to strangle her and threw her down the stairs, she said.READ MOREHe subjected her to emotional and financial abuse, threatened to kill himself if she did not follow his rules, followed her if she went anywhere and both parents blamed her for him having a serious illness, she said. He would remind her of his illness “in scary ways”, she said.Her mother also subjected her to financial, psychological and emotional abuse, she said. She was prevented socialising or having contact with friends and was “very isolated”. On occasions she was denied food, allowed only limited showers and not permitted to use a hairdryer.“I fear for my safety,” she said. “I always felt safer when I’m not at home.” Judge Gerard Furlong granted her application for a protection order against both parents.[ ‘He was incredibly entitled and manipulative’: The grim pattern of femicide in IrelandOpens in new window ]It was among several made ex parte (one side only represented) before the judge on Friday.Due to industrial action by public sector workers, the emergency domestic violence court was one of just two courts sitting in the Dolphin House complex on Friday. Three other family courts did not sit due to the action.During Friday’s hearing Furlong was given a cake by solicitor Sandra McAleer to mark his 26th year sitting as a District Court judge. In another application a woman who alleged her long-term partner “dropped a door” on her after pulling it off its hinges sought protection from him.They lived together for many years from when she was 17 but in recent years she realised she had “endured what I thought was love”, she said. [ Pregnant mother-of-two’s murder ‘one of the worst cases of domestic violence’, Belfast court hearsOpens in new window ]While they were in a homeless hostel with their teenage children, the man came into a room and hit her, causing her to fall to the floor after which he threw a mobile phone at her head. She had promised her children, if he hit her again, she would call the gardaí and screamed for her daughter to call gardaí, she said. She was sitting with her back to the door of the room, blocking it because she was “so scared he would get out” to her daughter and he pulled the door off the hinges and dropped it on her, she said. Gardaí removed the man from the hostel and charged him with assault, she said.The man had not always been like this during their relationship but he was consistently “a narcissist and a gaslighter”, she said. In more recent years she had “learned so much” and realised he had been emotionally abusing her. He was a drug user “with a very short fuse”, she said. He never hit their children but they witnessed his behaviour towards her, she said. He had pushed her and held her throat a few times and thrown things at her. He once punched her so hard she fell and hit her head off a corner that “nearly split me open”, she said. He started kicking her “until the kids begged him to stop”.“He scares me, we’re only homeless because of him.”She and the children are doing well away from him, she said. “I don’t want him to take any of that away from us.” The judge told the woman he would “absolutely” grant her protection order application.Another woman, whose children include a child with severe disabilities, got a protection order against her former partner.He was “extremely controlling” and verbally abusive to her during their relationship, calling her names including “fat c***”, she said. He sent constant messages asking where she was, had “taken chunks out of parts of the kitchen” and smashed a hob. The woman sobbed as the judge read her sworn information including that her young daughter had asked her: “Why are you putting up with this?” Since she recently ended the relationship, he has “bombarded” her with abusive messages as well as flowers and messages saying he loved her, she said. She received 70 messages in one day, the court was told.He had told her he would kill himself and demonstrated erratic behaviour in front of their children and a member of his family, the woman said.“I feel I cannot continue like this, it’s having a huge impact on me and the kids,” the weeping woman said. She cannot sleep or eat and finds doing her job difficult, she said.“I want this to stop and us to get on with co-parenting the kids in a positive way.”Granting a protection order, the judge said: “I hope this works and gives you and the kids some peace.”