CLARE FOGES: I froze my eggs... here's why I'd pay for my girls to do it, too

For weeks, it was my evening ritual: sit on the sofa, switch on Love Island, grab a good inch of belly fat and plunge in the syringe. As I watched the Ronseal-tanned guys and gals lounge around the swimming pool, the hormones I’d injected sent a message to my egg follicles: grow!After two weeks of these jabs, and several scans of my ovaries, my eggs were harvested and frozen at -196 degrees.I was 34 years old when I froze my eggs. Though I’d had a few serious relationships and dated like an honorary ambassador for Tinder, I was still single.So avid was my search for a man that some evenings I’d have two dates; firemen and lawyers, comedians and accountants, butchers, bakers, candlestick-makers. While I met some lovely people, none were quite right.Meanwhile that dreaded age loomed closer, in neon flashing lights: 35. From puberty we are taught that at this point fertility ‘falls off a cliff’, as though our eggs hurtle into oblivion like lemmings. Blow out 35 birthday candles and poof! Your chances of procreating are gone in that puff of smoke.So I became increasingly preoccupied with the baby issue. Each month was a grain of sand trickling through the fertility hourglass. Sniffing a friend’s baby’s soft head induced a kind of panic. Would it happen? When?This made dating difficult since every poor chap I met for a pinot grigio was scrutinised as a potential father. He votes Liberal Democrat? Is a Swiftie? Doesn’t like Pizza Express? No, no, no!Within minutes I’d count them out, not prepared to waste time getting to know them since I was on an urgent mission to find the Father Of My Children.All this brought me to a posh London fertility clinic with minimalist décor, piped muzak and a waiting room full of vaguely worried-looking women like me.The egg freezing wasn’t cheap – costing about £4,000 – but frankly it might be the best money I’ve ever spent. Why? Because as soon as those 11 eggs were retrieved from my ovaries and plunged into liquid nitrogen, I felt a weight leave my shoulders. Clare Foges says she froze some of her eggs for £4,000... and, while she later had four children without using the eggs, it was worth it for the weight it lifted off her shoulders There should be no shame or stigma around egg freezing, says ClareThis relief didn’t come from the misguided belief that I was now guaranteed to have children. It came from the feeling that finally – after years of being subject to the twists and turns of romantic fate – I was taking control.Egg freezing lifted the preoccupation with having a baby. Dates stopped being dads-in-waiting. I lightened up.Sure enough, just months later I got together with my now husband – and I don’t believe the timing was a coincidence.For those women who might get similar relief, there should be no shame or stigma around egg freezing. That is why I applaud US politician Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez – otherwise known as AOC – for going public with her own process.‘Usually, I keep my private life quite private, but I have made the decision to start freezing my eggs,’ Ocasio-Cortez said in a live-streamed video, promptly sticking a syringe into her tummy and declaring herself ‘badass’ for doing so.Cue fury from various US commentators. One sneered at ‘AOC’s sad fertility journey’. Another called her ‘totally backwards and ridiculous’ for delaying having children when she’s already 36. Another chided that ‘too many women buy into the feminist lie and spend their childbearing years climbing the career ladder’. Yet another cried this is ‘one of the reasons why fertility rates are cratering. Just freeze your eggs, kids! Pursue that career… This is not female “liberation”, it’s a cautionary tale’.The central criticism: AOC is perpetrating the idea that the average woman can ‘have it all’ – a successful career into their 40s, with babies as an afterthought.Frankly, this is patronising, misogynistic nonsense from those who want women knocked-up and stove-bound by the age of 21.No, women like me who freeze their eggs aren’t idiots who think we can outwit Mother Nature. We are under no illusions about this being a ‘guarantee’ of a baby. We have read and understood the data and know that the older our age at freezing, the slimmer our chances.But still, more and more women are choosing to do it. According to the HFEA (Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority), the number having the procedure tripled between 2020 and 2024.I will wager that most of these have not chosen to delay a baby just so they can climb the greasy pole at the office or squeeze in more fancy holidays. Many simply haven’t met the right man. AOC recently separated from her long-time fiancé, which may well be behind her decision to egg freeze.‘This is a choice that I am making to feel more in control of my life,’ says AOC, and I get it.I went on to have four children with my husband – without using the frozen eggs – but should my own girls want to freeze their eggs down the line, I would be fully supportive.This is a long way off; my daughters are only eight, five and two. I have no opinion on whether they should have children or not, I only want them to be happy.But knowing the enormous pressures that young women can feel around having a baby, if they were to look into the process I would be right behind them.Indeed, if I had the funds I would pay for it – not as an investment in future grandchildren, but in my daughters’ peace of mind. David and Victoria Beckham post a holiday picture from Portofino in ItalyPlease pack away the PDAs, PoshAnother day, another picture of a Posh and Becks PDA in a glam European resort within convenient reach of the paparazzi. Lights, camera, snog! Is it just me, or are they trying too hard?Ah, summer holidays. Buckets, spades and spats with my spouse. I write this from the Isle of Wight, where it’s clear that, when it comes to holidays, my husband and I differ in every way. I’m a night owl who wants to keep the children on the beach until late; he is early to bed. I’m relaxed about domestic issues, he Hoovers every grain of sand out of the Airbnb. We will both be breathing a sigh of relief on the ferry home – unless I chuck him overboard first.Sorry Gillian, crystal meth ISN‘T coolGillian Anderson has admitted taking crystal meth as a teenager, in her ‘punk phase’. Wow, how edgy! Such confessions send the message to teens that they, too, can dabble in Class A drugs before becoming a global star. In reality, crystal meth will more likely lead you to skin sores, black teeth, premature ageing and early death. Drug-taking is life-destroying – not a cool story to earn actresses like Anderson a bit of attention. As if we needed more proof that social media ‘influencers’ don’t have too much going on between the ears, several have been bitten by sharks while trying to take the perfect selfie. Strangely, Jaws wasn’t interested in posing for Instagram. Now they picture themselves pouting while showing off their scars. My deepest sympathies – to the sharks involved.