Choti Bahu Maneka's fallout: The dining-table clip and rift that split the Gandhi household

The Nehru-Gandhi family shared a home, but not always a happy equation. The relationship between Indira Gandhi and her two daughters-in-law, Sonia and Maneka, grew increasingly bitter over the years, eventually ending in a very public family feud. The personal equation among the members of Congress's first family has come up in conversations as Sonia Gandhi released her memoir, Belonging: A Journey of Love, and a clip from the 1980s that has gone viral.The recently resurfaced home video from the 1980s has drawn attention to the long-standing estrangement between Maneka Gandhi and the rest of the Nehru-Gandhi family. The clip, showing the Nehru-Gandhi family at the dining table, captures Indira Gandhi, Sonia Gandhi, young Rahul and Priyanka, and Maneka. Observers, including political analysts, have pointed to the final frames of the clip as revealing "a wall of ice" between then Prime Minister Indira Gandhi and Maneka Gandhi. Others have described Maneka's presence as "token" and "isolated", with the camera largely avoiding her while Sonia appears central under the matriarch's gaze.The resurfacing of the footage coincides with the release of Sonia Gandhi's memoir, which offers her account of how the relationship with Maneka Gandhi, her sister-in-law, deteriorated from early unease into open rupture after the death of the latter's husband, Sanjay Gandhi.HOW SANJAY GANDHI MET MANEKA ANAND AT FRIEND'S ENGAGEMENTAccording to Sonia Gandhi, her brother-in-law Sanjay Gandhi met Maneka Anand towards the end of 1973 at a friend's engagement party. In the memoir, Sonia describes Maneka as "a pretty and vivacious girl, ten years younger than him." Maneka was still a minor; Indira Gandhi asked Sanjay to wait until she turned eighteen. The engagement took place in July 1974 and the wedding, a simple civil ceremony, followed in September. Indira gifted the fabric for Maneka's sari.Sonia recalls the early period positively, "Maneka was a high-spirited and talkative girl, full of zest. It was refreshing at first to have a younger sister-in-law in the house." Priyanka was often found in Maneka's room listening to stories. Tensions surfaced relatively quickly.BAHURANI VS CHOTI BAHU: MANEKA GANDHI SAW IT AS PUTDOWN?Household staff addressed Sonia as Bahurani and Maneka as "Choti Bahu". Sonia writes that she regarded both as "equal daughters of the house", but "she [Maneka] probably saw it as a putdown".Differences between Sanjay and Maneka became noticeable; when annoyed, Maneka "would use expletives, even in the presence of my mother-in-law, that were taboo in the home; they embarrassed him and shocked us."Sonia adds that living in the joint family "couldn't have been easy for a young girl with a sociable and gregarious temperament".The atmosphere grew more strained during the Emergency years.MANEKA SPREAD STORIES THROUGH JOURNALISTS, WRITES SONIA GANDHISonia records that Indira told Cabinet Secretary PN Dhar about Maneka, "Uske abhi se par nikalne lage hain" ("She has started growing wings already"). She felt Maneka was "egging him [Sanjay] on in his activities, even interfering in them," rather than acting as a sobering influence. After the 1977 defeat, family discussions turned bitter.In the memoir, Sonia blames the excesses of the Emergency on Sanjay Gandhi.In one exchange in Sanjay's room, Rajiv Gandhi told his brother, "I cannot forgive you, Sanjay — you have brought Ma to this pass." Indira agreed. When Maneka intervened, Indira "raising her voice, challenged her to deny it."Sonia writes that Maneka's "animosity towards us only increased" and that "as far as she was concerned, we were enemies. She spread stories about us through journalists."RUPTURE IN NEHRU-GANDHI FAMILY AFTER SANJAY GANDHI'S DEATHSanjay Gandhi's death in a plane crash on June 23, 1980, left Maneka a widow at 23, with a three-month-old son, Feroze Varun (Varun Gandhi). Indira was protective at first, checking on Maneka, taking her on official trips to Kenya, France and Italy, and buying her a warm coat in Paris. But political differences sharpened.Indira judged Maneka "still too young and immature to be given a leadership role". Sonia notes that Maneka's mother was believed to be encouraging Sanjay loyalists to demand a political position for his widow. A senior journalist close to Maneka's circle described her as "the only possible inheritor of the Sanjay cult figure".The break became clearer around Varun's first birthday in March 1981.Indira suggested a small gathering; she later learned the party had been held at the house of Vasundhara Raje, "a staunch supporter of the RSS and a political opponent of Mrs Gandhi. It was clearly intended to wound her". The subsequent sale of Maneka's magazine Surya to an RSS associate was, in Sonia's account, "tantamount to insulting not only her but the memory of her son, of her father.""With this act, Maneka had crossed all limits. To my mother-in-law, it was a deliberate challenge," Sonia writes.FINAL CONFRONTATION AND WHEN MANEKA LEFT INDIRA'S RESIDENCEThe final confrontation occurred after Maneka Gandhi attended a rally in Lucknow organised by dissidents while Indira was in London. On her return, Indira told Maneka that as part of the family she could not continue "disloyal political activities; she must make a choice: either to refrain, or to live elsewhere."Maneka replied with a letter "full of accusations, obviously meant to damage her mother-in-law." Sonia writes that Maneka "had confided her plan weeks in advance to a journalist friend" and that the manner of the exit, with media coverage, "turned that sordid event into what would be termed today a 'reality show.'"Maneka left the Safdarjung Road residence in March 1982 with her son, Varun. The image of her leaving with a toddler Varun was splashed on the front pages of national dailies the following day.Later, Maneka formed the Sanjay Vichar Manch and contested against Rajiv in Amethi, "spread[ing] malicious accusations against us." Access to Varun became a further source of pain; Indira eventually initiated legal proceedings for visitation rights.The 1981 dinner-table video, recorded in the period between Sanjay's death and Maneka's departure, has been read by many as visual confirmation of the emotional distance Sonia's memoir describes in detail. Sonia Gandhi's book presents the fallout as the result of accumulating personal frictions, political ambition, and competing claims to Sanjay's legacy, culminating in a public rupture that has never fully healed.- Ends