‘Bouncing back’ is a myth. Here’s what real resilience looks like

When Maria looked at herself in the mirror for the first time after her mastectomy, she stood very still. One hand rested on the bathroom counter. The other hovered near the flat space where her breast had been. The scar was raw and angry. The loss was quiet but enormous. Her body felt foreign. In moments like these, people are often urged to be resilient – which can feel like being told to show no weakness, to push through no matter what. Or they imagine resilience as bouncing back: retur...