Bill Maher Responds to Trump’s 1,318-Word Social Rant: “He Went Off on Me Like Kelly Clarkson in a Toy Store”

Logo text Bill Maher has responded to President Donald Trump‘s lengthy social media post where he slammed him as a “complete and total loser,” and shared more details about their recent dinner at the White House. During Friday’s episode of Real Time with Bill Maher, the comedian addressed a few of the statements made in Trump’s post. He began the monologue by discussing the upcoming midterms and how former President Barack Obama caused a “big scandal” for a comment he made at a campaign rally saying that Trump has “got the White House looking like Saddam Hussein opened a Cheesecake Factory.” Maher said, “And the Republicans all said, ‘Leave the Cheesecake Factory out of this!’ Well, I mean, I should know. I just had dinner there. I hear it went well. What have you heard?” The host then asked, “Now, did you see the 1,300-word Tweet he sent out? Longest ever. Kind of a flex.” He joked that “dining at the White House is the opposite of the Cheesecake Factory. After you leave, they review you.” “He went off on me like Kelly Clarkson in a toy store,” Maher added. “I mean, eating with Trump is like dating Taylor Swift. It’s a lot of laughs at the time, but later on, they’re tearing you a new asshole.” Maher was then handed a printed copy of Trump’s Truth Social post, and began to “address a few of the allegations.” Before that, he noted, “Look, I don’t want it to be this way. The whole point of having these dinners was talk, disagree, but listen, which he does in person, but don’t hate each other. And then I go back to my job here and then the heartaches begin.” “It begins, ‘Let’s talk about the complete and total loser Bill Maher.’ You got me there. I’ll own that,” Maher joked, going on to explain “what pisses me off” is that “he doesn’t even notice what I say,” specifically citing a line in Trump’s post where he wrote, “[Maher] doesn’t think it was a good thing to take the Nuclear Weapon away from Iran, which shows you that he is not very smart.” Real Time then played a series of clips showcasing the opposite of Trump’s claim. Maher then moved on to another section: “Page two, he talks about how I call him incessantly. I’ve never called you, you call me. I’d be afraid to call you. You’re the president. I think you’re too busy. Well, plainly not. He’s talking about me, ‘He invited himself to the White House.’ As if you could do that. ‘Sir, Bill Maher is here.’ ‘Well, he’s not invited, but the law.” He also read aloud Trump writing that Maher is a “major POTHEAD.” Maher’s response: “Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag now. Boy, that explains a lot. I thought I was just happy.” (Later in the Real Time episode, Kid Rock, who was at the dinner, told Maher he was “pretty high” at the White House.) He continued reading Trump’s post, “‘Bill had alcohol in his hand,’ that you gave me, ‘as he walked through the White House,’ and then — I love this — ‘Overall, I thought it was a good meeting.'” “‘I understand he’s doing his thing. I never took it personally,'” Maher recited, dumbfounded. “‘He’s not a nice guy, and what he spouts isn’t what he believes. He has to cater to his base, which is mostly composed of losers,’ that would be you assholes,” the host said to his audience. Trump penned a 1,318-word Truth Social post on Sunday, where he criticized Maher, Real Time and producer Chuck LaBella. He wrote, “Let’s talk about this COMPLETE AND TOTAL LOSER, Bill Maher. He’s got a Low Rated Show on equally Low Rated HBO, which was once, long ago, a Network of Quality and Excitement — But that’s all gone. It’s not ‘HOT’ anymore! Maher’s friend and business associate, Chuck LaBella, was also a friend of mine, worked on The Top Hit Show, The Apprentice, as a ‘gofer’ and, because of the success of that show, Number One and Top Rated on many weeks, with the Finale’ being among the Top Shows of the Year, he was automatically and quickly brought up through the Ranks of NBC, along with everyone else associated with that Historic ‘Happening.'” Trump’s post seemingly was made in response to jokes Maher made during his monologue on the Oct. 23 episode. “It’s just a little odd that Trump keeps gushing about men’s bodies, and how handsome they are, and their jawlines, and their asses, their physiques,” said Maher. “I’m a little hurt. I was there for dinner for four hours last week, and not a peep. Nothing.” Maher said, “Trump has the lowest approval rating of any midterm candidate ever. Only one percent of the Republicans are mentioning him in their ads.” The president also wrote in his post that LaBella asked if he’d ever appear on Real Time, which he said led to their first meeting last year. “In any event, over the last few years, LaBella would call me nonstop to say, ‘Hello,’ be very nice, and tell me how much Bill Maher ‘loves’ and respects me, and would constantly ask of me, even before I was President, for any form of meeting with Maher and, would I do his show?” he wrote. “When I became President, I agreed to meet, after the first one, and the last one, but never agreed to do his show, which he wants me to do, DESPARATELY [sic] — It won’t happen! When I have watched the show, which isn’t often, it always ends with dishonesty, about me at least, but, who cares?” He also later claimed LaBella and Kid Rock, the latter of which appeared on Friday night’s Real Time episode, “called me incessantly about meeting with Bill Maher,” which led to their first dinner in March 2025. “My first response was, ‘Fellas, this guy’s a Goofball,'” Trump wrote.