BBC’s Evolution is ruined by eco-nut Packham’s hypocrisy – he has same insufferable God complex as Thunberg & Polanski

BBC2’S natural history series ­Evolution, with Chris Packham, reached a key moment in the origin of species this week. “The legacy of the anus.” Chris Packham is one of those increasingly rare egomaniacs who still refers to himself in the third person Credit: PA Packham is hardly alone among environmentalists in having this insufferable God complex (see Greta ­Thunberg and Zack Polanski) Credit: Splash Which may be the finest Harry ­Potter movie never made. I can understand, though, why some of you might think the subject matter was home territory for presenter Chris Packham. For he is one of those increasingly rare egomaniacs who still refers to himself in the third person, and ­during the first episode actually said: “Chris Packham’s a bloke who loves animals, why’s he smashing up a ­termite mound?” I forget why blokey Chris Packham was attacking a ­termite mound, to be honest. Hand on heart and personal reservations aside, for a minute, though, I thoroughly enjoyed the first two-and-half episodes of Evolution, where the science of the story has been expertly divided into five different and very distinct animals. It started with the elephant and ostrich and will conclude with the dolphin and horse. This week, however, we got the mind-blowing story of the bat whose evolution would’ve been impossible without a significant bum hole and a huge appetite. An astonishing process that began with some primeval worm deciding it was fed up with vomiting and ended in a world where “99 per cent of all species now have an anus”. Mammals, birds, fish, reptiles, DIY SOS with Nick Knowles. The history of the ringpiece is truly a wondrous story, ­worthy of all the attention lavished on it by the ­presenter. The trouble with Chris Packham, though, is that he thinks there is no story so fantastic and interesting it cannot be improved by his own ­opinions. He needs no invitation to start ­moralising either. And the excuse here came in the wake of the giant asteroid which hit the shallow waters of the Gulf of ­Mexico, wiping out the dinosaurs 66million years ago. Packham needs no invitation to start ­moralising Credit: PA The absence of self-righteous megalomania and staggering hypocrisy is the reason why viewers still adore the irreplaceable Sir David Attenborough Credit: EPA “For had it hit deeper water just 30 seconds later,” Chris said, looking visibly thrilled by the idea, “There might have been no humans on Earth. And standing here in the palm oil plantation in Borneo, I’ll leave you to make of that what you will.” Except he’s not, is he? Chris, like so many eco-nuts, is clearly enchanted by the idea of a world without everyone except them. A position which sits somewhat uneasily with his appearances on ­podcasts like The Daily Heretic, with Andrew Gold, where he claimed his attitude to illegal asylum ­seekers and political opinions were guided by the principle of “being lovely to people”. Yeah, “lovely lovely Chris”, I’ve always thought . . . The more obvious hypocrisy, though, is raised by the ­question: “What the f*** is he doing in Borneo?” Or ­anywhere else far flung and exotic, for that matter. Because, during filming, locations he visited included: Kenya’s Kibwezi Forest, the Gomantong Caves of Borneo, a South African ostrich farm, Costa Rica’s rainforests, the Camargue in France and the coastal waters of Bimini in the Bahamas, where he snorkels with dolphins. And I’m going to take a punt here and suggest he didn’t cycle to any of them. How exactly Chris did travel so many carbon-spewing miles is open to speculation, of course, but he clearly did it on a higher moral plane than the rest of us. For you never have to go back too far to get a lecture from Chris ­Packham. It was May 2024, in fact, campaigning against the expansion of Gatwick, when he said: “We’ve got to cut back on fossil fuels. “At the moment, we don’t have ­sustainable aviation fuel of any ­meaningful nature. “And so until we change the way we fly, if we continue to fly, we’ve got to cut back on flights, not increase the number of those.” By “we”, obviously, he ­actually means you. For Chris is special, apparently, and has decided all your long-haul travel is entirely unnecessary while his is totally essential, even if he could’ve filmed bats in a ­Basingstoke belfry. Packham is hardly alone among environmentalists in having this insufferable God complex (see Greta ­Thunberg and Zack Polanski). But the absence of this self-righteous megalomania and staggering hypocrisy is the reason why viewers still adore the irreplaceable Sir David Attenborough, who lets the pictures speak for themselves and allows viewers to make up their own minds about the planet. Despite having slightly left-field views on population control, Attenborough’s also never left me with the feeling Earth would be ­better off if all human life was eliminated either. But seeing as Chris ­Packham has raised the issue . . . I’m firmly on the side of humanity with all of its laughter, music, pubs, films, sport, great cities and the sight of Edinburgh Castle, first thing on a sunny May morning. Even if that does mean we also have to endure war, pestilence, famine, extinction, London cyclists and three series of Smoggie Queens. I’ll get back to you if the BBC gives it a fourth, though. Unexpected morons in the bagging area THE Weakest Link, Romesh Ranganathan: “In politics, the name of the UK government department abbreviated to MoJ is the Ministry of what?” Sandro ­Farmhouse: “Music.” The Finish Line, Roman Kemp: “What was the name of Queen Elizabeth II’s royal yacht?” Lizzi: “Princess Anne.” And Roman Kemp: “The company Tate & Lyle is best known for producing what?” Sean: “Cars.” JOKERS STAN & HOLLY Holly Willoughby Together adds up to nothing much more than elongated versions of the old lifestyle segments on This Morning Credit: YouTube/Holly Willoughby Together OVER on YouTube, Holly Willoughby is necking alcohol while attempting to deep-fry some food with Hollywood actor Stanley Tucci. A game that used to be known in Glasgow as “Gorbals Roulette” and involved the player, if he was very fortunate, waking up to find his kitchen on fire and Strathclyde Fire Brigade waiting down below to catch him in a blanket. This slightly less chaotic and equally undignified version is called Holly Willoughby Together, but adds up to nothing much more than elongated versions of the old lifestyle segments she used to try to help Phillip Schofield present on This Morning. On first glance, it’s a task that looks way beyond her, without Schofield’s expert guidance. As is the even more challenging process of attempting to look like an everyday gal while letting the audience know she is very much part of an A-list circle and on first-name terms with “Stan”. Bless her heart, though, Holly can just about chop vegetables while posing questions of such pressing concern that I actually heard her asking: “What is your favourite type of potato?” Stan answered as well, God love him. It’s “dauphinoise” he replied, before hitting Holly with a curveball of his own. “How long does this show last?” Six months, tops. And thereafter it’s “Welcome to Loose Women,” if she’s lucky as hell. Random TV irritations LOVE Island 13 drowning in dull contestants and a soundtrack full of drippy cover versions. TLC’s Unacceptable turning out to be as tiresomely conventional as the next Trump-hating panel show. Mastermind specialist subjects descending to the level of Roy Keane, Depeche Mode and Madness. The BBC axing Blankety-Blank, though I shed no tears for Celebrity Mastermind and Live At The Apollo. And an over-enthusiastic Fern ­Britton rounding off yet another castration Inside The Vet’s, on ITV, with a yelp of: “WHO’S NEXT?” Run, Schofield. CELEBRITY Escape to the Country, Alistair Appleton: “Janet Street-Porter cut her teeth in Fleet Street.” Not nearly enough. THE Commonwealth Games Opening ­Ceremony, Sir Chris Hoy: “I wonder how much Andy Burnham can clean and jerk?” Clean? Very little. Jerk? Endlessly. TV gold Channel 5’s funny and enchantingly cheesy new crime drama Benidorm Is Murder, starring John Hannah Credit: Channel 5 SKY Atlantic’s superb new prequel Gomorrah: The Origins, although I don’t like the dubbing. Boris Johnson: Into Ukraine’s Kill Zone, on Channel 5, which sent both the Kremlin and the Guardian into a glorious, rage-spewing meltdown. Diane Morgan’s brilliant sitcom Ann Droid on BBC1, which is so beautifully obsessed with The Apprentice it quoted the great Stuart Baggs on Friday: “Everything I touch turns to sold.” And Channel 5’s funny and enchantingly cheesy new crime drama Benidorm Is Murder, starring John Hannah, as Dennis, a Spanish bar owner/detective whose abrupt and cutting manner is almost as off-putting for the other characters as his tiresome obsession with the Scotland football team. I like him a lot. Great sporting insights GREAT Sporting Insights. Mike Atherton: “Tony Greig regretted those words to his dying day and beyond.” Alex Hartley: “The problem with this rain is that it’s wet rain.” And Rob Croft: “My pronunciation is off so I’ll be having electrocution lessons later.” (Compiled by Graham Wray) Lookalike of the week This week’s winner is Princeton, from Avenue Q and municipal Muppet Andy Burnham Sent in by Elaine B, of Glasgow. THE overriding problem with EastEnders? I’m not saying it’s written entirely by middle-class tosspots. However . . . Following the Jean-Paul Sartre question at the Queen Vic’s pub quiz, ­second-hand car dealer Max Branning has dropped Frida Kahlo’s name into a conversation. Yet Billy Mitchell and the Square’s other West Ham diehards still haven’t ­mentioned last season’s ­relegation or even noticed the club moved to a new ­stadium ten years ago. Will someone, please, then, start the social realism ball rolling by breaking the happy news they won the FA Cup Final in 1975. And who knows, it might even cheer the miserable sods up a bit. GREAT TV lies and delusions of the month. The Rest Is Football, Joe Cole: “England will beat Argentina 3-1. It’s going to be more comfortable than ­people think.” Nothing to Hide, Natalka Znak: “Katie Price is always fascinating to watch.” And Evolution, Chris ­Packham: “Dickinsonia is a beautiful fossil.” Says a man who clearly hasn’t watched his Real Deal on ITV daytime in a long time.