Anupama Parameswaran recalls panic attacks, blackouts during past relationship

In a new interview, Anupama Parameswaran described a past relationship as narcissistic abuse and detailed its toll on her health. Her remarks drew social media attention, but she focused on the lasting physical and emotional impact of the breakup.Anupama Parameswaran recalls crying for hours, losing weight in relationship.Actor Anupama Parameswaran has opened up about the physical and emotional toll of a past relationship, describing it as “narcissistic abuse” and recalling a period when she suffered panic attacks, anxiety, blackouts and significant weight loss. The actor also said she would cry for hours at night before reporting for work the next day.In the second part of her conversation on the podcast I Am With Dhanya Varma, Anupama spoke at length about the relationship without naming the person involved.Anupama, however, did not identify anyone during the conversation and focused on her own experience and the impact the relationship had on her health and wellbeing.Anupama recalls panic attacks, weight loss during relationshipDescribing the relationship, Anupama said there was never a sense of stability and that it repeatedly swung between extremes. “There were times when this person would say, ‘Let’s end this,’ and two days later he would say, ‘I can’t live without you, baby!’ Then there would be a patch-up,” she said.Anupama said the relationship unfolded at a time when she was already dealing with personal struggles, and the anxiety eventually began manifesting physically. “I had panic attacks, anxiety attacks, yes, blackouts,” she said, adding that she started losing a significant amount of weight.“I had none of this; I was a happy and normal child. My right eye even started twitching, and we had to stop shooting. It was such a condition. Some conversation would happen, and I would throw up, and I would not eat anything. I lost so much weight. I was crying every single night for hours and hours, and I would have to get up and go for a shoot,” she recalled.She also spoke about a medical complication she experienced during the period, saying her lacrimal gland became swollen and required surgery.“All of a sudden, my lacrimal gland, it got swollen, and I had to get surgery done. There was a lot more,” she said.‘It was like a spider web’Anupama said the relationship left her with lasting physical and mental effects, while clarifying that she was not referring to physical abuse.“There are wounds in my body, not physical abuse, and issues in my body that can never be healed – physical and mental,” she said.Addressing questions about why she did not simply leave the relationship, Anupama said such situations can be difficult to recognise and escape from when manipulation and gaslighting are involved.“People asked me why couldn’t I get out of it, but no one understands that it was like a spider web. It is like textbook, the reasons, the gaslighting, the manipulation; it is the same,” she said.Anupama recalled reaching a point earlier this year when she told the person that the relationship was affecting her peace and could not continue.She said she gradually began recognising patterns in his behaviour, including what she described as lies, and started confronting him. According to Anupama, the response was to turn the blame back on her.“They try to make me the problem,” she said.Anupama says ‘the entire bubble broke’Anupama said the situation continued until she discovered “something bizarre”, after which matters escalated and both families became involved.According to the actor, that was when “the entire bubble broke”.She recalled that she eventually had to threaten the person to get him to speak to her. Describing their final interaction, Anupama said she felt she saw a different side of him.“Because they never take accountability for anything they do. I had a conversation, and in the last 10 seconds, when I saw him, I could see the mask peeling off, and I could see the demon,” she said.Anupama had first spoken about the end of the relationship on social media in July, without identifying the person involved.Her comments have since been linked by social media users to Dhruv Vikram, with whom she was paired in Bison Kaalamaadan. Dating rumours surrounding the two gained traction in early 2025 after an unverified photograph, which fans claimed showed the two kissing, circulated online. There were also claims that the image had been used as the display picture for a shared Spotify playlist.However, Anupama has not named Dhruv Vikram in her latest interview or directly identified the person she was referring to.- EndsPublished On: Aug 14, 2026 19:58 IST