After mum died, I found solace in an unlikely place — her makeup bag

Sarah’s mum’s last lipstick has one of her most treasured possessions (Picture: Sarah Stubb/ Alexandra Cameron) Sarah Stubb describes her mum, Carol, as the ‘matriarch of the family’. Quick-witted and warm, she rarely went anywhere without her signature red lipstick. With four children, and an army of grandchildren who looked up to her, she was the one everyone went to for advice. But in June 2025, Sarah and her family were left devastated when Carol, 87, died from bowel cancer. Sarah tells Metro: ‘I know some people might say that 87 was a great age to reach, but to us she seemed at least a decade younger. We thought she would go on to make it to 100.’ After her mum’s death, Sarah found solace in an unlikely place: her mum’s makeup bag. Look beyond the headlines Get a curated list of the most important stories of the weekend every Sunday from our weekend editor Jess Austin. Look beyond the headlines with exclusive articles, emotive interviews and must-read explainers from our expert team of reporters across news, lifestyle and entertainment. Sign up here. Sarah was always incredibly close with her mum, visiting her multiple times a week (Picture: Sarah Stubb) Throughout countless MRIs, colonoscopies, and difficult conversations, Carol never stopped wearing her favourite lipstick. ‘I kept her lipstick because it felt like I was keeping a little piece of her,’ says Carol. Makeup isn’t just a beauty regime. For many women like Carol, it’s an important part of their identity. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. New research from Marie Curie reveals that 4 in 5 bereaved Brits believe beauty rituals help maintain a sense of dignity and identity for people facing a terminal illness. And, 76% believe they help people keep a sense of independence in their final moments. ‘She wore her lipstick at every hospital appointment’ Watching her mum ‘paint her face’ is one of Sarah’s earliest memories. ‘She was always into makeup and skincare. From about the age of 11 she taught me about cleansing, toning, and moisturiser. ‘And even if she wasn’t wearing anything else on her face, she’d always have her lipstick on.’ Sarah says her mum’s look was ‘iconic among the family.’ ‘Her granddaughters particularly remember her that way, that grandma was always very glamorous.’ Carol coveted one lipstick in particular. ‘Mum’s absolute favourite was a lipstick made by Revlon,’ Sarah says, ‘I even remember the exact shade, it was called Love That Pink.’ Sarah’s found a lot of comfort in holding onto her mum’s lipstick (Picture: Alexandra Cameron) Sadly Revlon did ultimately begin phasing out this particular shade around 12 years ago. Thankfully, at the time, Sarah was living half-way across the world in Australia – where you could still buy it. ‘I remember going from chemist to chemist buying up all of their stock so that I could bring them home to her. In the end, I think I managed to gather about a dozen. ‘And she got through every single one, except for the last one.’ When Carol was diagnosed in April 2025, it came as a shock to the entire family. Despite expressing that she was ‘feeling unwell’, Sarah explains that her mum didn’t present with ‘any of the normal symptoms everyone says to look out for for bowel cancer.’ What bowel cancer symptoms should we be looking out for? There’s no such thing as a perfect poo – it comes in all shapes and sizes, colours and textures. Your poo reflects what you’ve eaten lately so it’ll probably be different every time you go. If you’ve had blood in your poo for no obvious reason, you should see your GP. The blood can be bright or dark red on the surface or mixed in with the poo – or you may notice it in the toilet bowl. Occasionally it can make your poo look black, like tar. You should also be aware of persistent changes in your bowel habits. This includes having to poo more or feeling like you haven’t fully emptied your bowel when you’ve been – your poo may be looser or you may find it harder to go. If any of these changes last for three weeks or more, you should see your GP. If you notice abdominal pain after eating, see your GP as soon as possible. Don’t put it off, early diagnosis really does save lives. Other symptoms include unexplained weight loss and extreme tiredness for no reason. It was only when she began losing a little bit of weight that the family decided it was best they take Carol to see a professional. Thinking back to the heartbreaking moment her mum was told nothing more could be done for her, Sarah says: ‘I remember the consultant’s words to her that day. ‘He said: “You look wonderful today, you look great.” And he told her to take each day as it came.’ During the next few months, Sarah made sure to help her mum maintain ‘small beauty rituals’. Small beauty rituals were one of the ways Sarah helped her mum maintain her identity towards the end of her life (Picture: Alexandra Cameron) ‘I would do her skincare every single day: her cleansing water and moisturiser. ‘When she was moved to a hospice, I remember one of the nurses in the hospice saying to her: “What’s the secret of your lovely skin, Carol?”.’ Sarah, along with her two sisters, cared for their mum until the very end of her life. And after Carol’s death, her lipstick became one of Sarah’s most prized possessions. Just a little over a year after she died, Sarah decided to participate in the campaign, The Last Lipstick, an intimate photography collection capturing the final lipsticks worn by women nearing the end of their lives. ‘I had the privilege of doing all the flowers for her for her funeral – my last gift to her’ (Picture: Sarah Stubb) ‘It’s been a lovely lasting tribute to her,’ Sarah shares. ‘It’s enhanced her memory and helped our entire family celebrate her life.’ Now, Sarah will wear the lipstick from time to time, when she wants to feel close to her mum. When she does, she says it’s her mum she sees in the mirror: Deals of the Day The wellbeing brand behind everyone's favourite candles has launched its biggest sale yet Oodie's £1 sale returns with wearable blankets, dressing gowns and throws up for grabs See London's Christmas lights from an open-top double-decker bus this winter My skin always suffers when the heating goes on but this serum changed that The skincare formula that finally took the guesswork out of my routine ‘We were often told we looked alike, and for me that’s become a huge comfort.’ Do you have a story you’d like to share? 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