After 3 Mains attempts, UPSC aspirant sells years of preparation material for Rs 464

A 26-year-old UPSC aspirant's emotional Reddit post about selling years of preparation books for just Rs 464 has struck a chord online, marking the end of a journey that cost him opportunities, love and years.Three Mains, one dream and Rs 464: UPSC aspirant's emotional goodbye to preparation (AI generated image)A 26-year-old UPSC aspirant has struck an emotional chord online after sharing how he sold years' worth of civil services preparation material to a scrap dealer for just Rs 464. For him, however, the books were never just books.They carried years of preparation, countless mock tests, handwritten notes, late-night study sessions and the hope of one day clearing one of India's toughest competitive examinations.The Reddit user, who said he graduated in 2022, had spent the last four to five years preparing for the UPSC Civil Services Examination. He appeared for the Mains examination in 2023, 2024 and 2025. This year, however, he said he did not even clear the Preliminary examination.And with that, he decided it was over. 'IT'S OVER NOW'In his post, the aspirant wrote that he had finally sold the last of his preparation material, including the NCERT books he had started with, Laxmikant, his earliest test papers, and several other books and notes collected over the years.But as each book was placed on one side of the kabadiwala's weighing scale, he said something inside him went numb. To an outsider, it was a pile of old books and paper. For him, it represented every Mains mock he had written, every Prelim test he had taken, every analysis sheet he had prepared at 4 am, and every page of notes written in handwriting he was once proud of."It was answers I'd corrected, rewritten, corrected again, trying to get one mark closer each time," he wrote.The stack, he said, represented years of effort, something he felt could only truly be understood by someone who had lived through the demanding cycle of UPSC preparation. The Reddit post. A DREAM THAT CAME AT A COSTBut on the other side of the weighing scale, the aspirant said, were things that could not be measured in kilograms. He wrote about a high-paying job offer that he had chosen not to take after graduating in 2022 because he believed in his UPSC dream.Today, he said, not taking that job has become something for which people either mock him or pity him. He also spoke about losing a four-year relationship along the way.There had been restarts, renewed hope and repeated attempts. Through it all, he said, there was always a part of him that kept insisting on trying just one more time. But eventually, the last book too went onto the pile.And the years he had spent preparing, the dream he had built his life around and the version of himself he had repeatedly tried to rebuild were, quite literally, weighed in kilograms.YEARS OF PREPARATION, VALUED AT RS 464The scrap dealer gave him Rs 464. Someone nearby reportedly told him that he could have bargained and received Rs 600 instead. But the aspirant's response captured the exhaustion and acceptance behind his decision."Kitabo se jo milna tha, woh mila nahi. Fir aur 100-200 jyada kam mile toh kya hi farq padta hai," he wrote.Translated loosely, he meant that he never received what he had hoped to get from those books, so another Rs 100 or Rs 200 more or less no longer made much difference. The Rs 464 was not something he chose to keep.A QUIET GOODBYEThe aspirant said he donated the entire amount to the temple. Not for merit. Not for luck. And not for another attempt."There is no next time," he wrote.For him, the donation was simply a quiet way of closing a chapter that had consumed years of his life. His final words reflected both hurt and defiance. He wrote that he wanted to tell God, quietly, that despite everything, he still had "a bigger heart than you did with me."For years, the books had represented possibility, the next attempt, the next test, the possibility of finally getting through. On that day, they became something else: a reminder of a dream he had finally decided to let go of. And the price of that goodbye was Rs 464.(Disclaimer: This story is based on a social media post. The details, including figures, background, and outcomes, have not been independently verified by India Today. The article is intended for informational purposes only, and readers are advised to exercise their own discretion before drawing conclusions or making decisions based on the content.)- EndsPublished By: Karan YadavPublished On: Aug 24, 2026 15:54 IST