After 20 years, we had an empty nest in sight. Then our kids lost their jobs

There comes a point in every parent’s life when they finally begin to glimpse the promised land. The children have grown up, they are heading off to university, and suddenly there are visions of peaceful evenings, a tidy house and a near empty laundry basket… aah, bliss. We love our children dearly, but after more than two decades of parenting, we have become rather attached to the idea of having our own space again. The thought of walking through the house without tripping over shoes or shouting “Turn it off if you’re not using it!” has become surprisingly appealing. Unfortunately, there is one small problem. We are increasingly worried that our children will end up moving back home after university. The concern is not because they are unwilling to work or build independent lives. Quite the opposite. Like many young people across the UK, they are facing a catastrophic job market. While they worry about finding work and making ends meet, we worry that the reality of modern life will make moving back home their only realistic option. Our daughter, Tia, is 22 and currently works as a waitress whilst trying to pursue her career as an artist. On paper, she is employed. In reality, her work schedule often depends on whether someone else cannot make their shift. Our son, Aidan, is 19 and recently lost his job at an art gallery. It was not due to poor performance or lack of effort. The gallery simply was not making enough sales and had to reduce staffing levels. One day he had a job, and the next he was searching online yet again for vacancies. Naturally, they both have concerns about their futures. Yet, if we are being completely honest, we suspect that the prospect of them moving back home may be causing even more anxiety for us than for them. Mention moving back home to someone in their twenties and they often see free laundry services, reduced bills and regular access to food that did not come from a microwave. Parents, meanwhile, see our hard-won freedom disappearing before our eyes. For years we have looked forward to the next chapter. We imagined turning bedrooms into hobby rooms, (in my case a meditation room). We dreamed of spontaneous weekends away. The return of adult children threatens all of those dreams. Suddenly, the spare room becomes occupied again. The laundry basket triples in size. Somehow every light in the house remains on despite repeated reminders that we are not attempting to guide aircraft safely to the runway (despite living close to Heathrow). Then there is the food situation. When they were small, my kids survived happily on fish fingers and beans. As young adults, they appear capable of consuming the weekly food shop in a single evening while simultaneously insisting there is “nothing to eat”. Parents who have enjoyed even a brief taste of an empty nest understand this fear completely. You finally become accustomed to a peaceful house only to find yourself discussing internet speeds, borrowing the car and whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher all over again. The reality is that many families are facing similar situations. Housing costs remain high, living expenses continue to rise and stable employment can be difficult to secure, particularly for the young. Returning home after university is increasingly becoming a practical necessity rather than a personal choice. There is also an emotional adjustment involved. We spend years helping our children become independent, encouraging them to spread their wings and build lives of their own. When circumstances force them to return home, it can feel as though everyone is moving backwards, even when that is not actually the case. In truth, moving home after university is often just a temporary stop on the journey to independence. I did the same after drama school. I used the opportunity to save money, gain experience and finally land my first acting gig at Theatre Royal, Stratford East, before moving out again. That is what we hope for Tia and Aidan. We hope they secure their independent futures as an artist and musician respectively. And if they do end up moving back home for a while, we will grumble about the empty fridge, and wonder why every charger in the house has mysteriously disappeared into their bedrooms. We will occasionally question our life choices and wonder why we didn’t insist they chose to become lawyers or accountants (the only kids we know of in any kind of employment having finished university). But beneath the jokes and complaints, we know we would rather have our children safe and supported than struggling alone. Still, if anyone asks, my husband and I remain firmly committed to our dream of an empty nest. We have waited a very long time for it, and we are not entirely ready to give up on the idea just yet. This week I have been… Travelling… Visiting Selva in Mallorca, staying with an actor friend of mine from Germany who I met whilst filming a series set on a spaceship in South Africa (Origin)! Talk about a small world. I experienced its wonderful Herb Festival with local traditions, flavours and community spirit. The charming streets at the foot of the Tramuntana mountain range came alive with market stalls, music and the unmistakable aroma of herbs used in the island’s famous herbal liqueurs. There was traditional storytelling in the town square with huge puppets, an immense fire on the last day of the festival burning all the various herbs collected, and a drumming band composed of several townsfolk aged between 10 and 70. Podcasting… I have started work on my first ever podcast, “Wadia Wanna Know?!”. I have been grafting – via a series of meetings, research, collaborations, Zoom calls, phone calls and any other possible form of communication to get this thing off the ground. It has been an idea floating around since Covid – when I was so bored that I started interviewing friends on what they were up to and not so much their successes but the failures in their lives that made them who they are. The conversations made me laugh, cry and everything in between. I am finally at a stage where this may finally be launched! Supporting… I have had two wonderful charity experiences this year so far. Firstly, hosting the Breakthrough T1D charity ball in Edinburgh, supporting families going through the motions in dealing with someone with type 1 diabetes in their family. My son has had it for eight years. We are so close to a cure it’s unbearable having to wait for it. Secondly, I visit the Baby Club at the Wednesbury Family Hub in Birmingham. This is part of Barnardo’s Summer Campaign and the wonderful work that they do supporting young families in the area. The only thing more fun than spending an afternoon with ten babies would have been if they were puppies. More from me @nina.wadia