A massacre by the Manchester Mafia – so will brutally sacked ministers now launch guerrilla war against new regime?

AS Andy Burnham enjoyed his first day in No10, Cabinet ministers who had just been brutally purged in his reshuffle piled into a boozer to drown their sorrows. Sir Keir Starmer was joined by wife Vic, their children and his closest aides and friends as he propped up the bar in North London, hitting the beer. A massacre by the Manchester Mafia – so will brutally sacked ministers now launch guerrilla war against new regime? Credit: EPA Rachel Reeves is said to have been offered a ‘big job’ — thought to be Education Secretary — but turned it down As the afternoon went on, a string of now former senior ministers including Rachel Reeves, Darren Jones, Jo Stevens and Lord Hermer joined the party. Each one was cheered as they arrived by the dozens of Labour staffers who had assembled for the send-off. Fresh from the chopping block, they knocked back booze, gossiped and checked Twitter for updates on who had taken their jobs in Burnham’s reshuffle. “It was a weird mix of anger and sadness”, one person there said. “Everyone was taken aback by just how big and brutal the purge was.” Another said: “It’s a massacre by the Manchester mafia. They are running No10 now.” Several aides wore specially made T-shirts with Keir’s face on the front and the words “Starmer Solid” — the ­nickname given to his most loyal MPs. As the sun began to fade, Keir left the pub hand in hand with Vic, holding aloft “like a trophy” a bouquet of flowers he had been given. But they barely had a chance to sleep off their hangovers before the first shots of a new Labour civil war were fired. Darren Jones tweeted just before 8am to have a go at Burnham’s first policy announcement — axing VAT on energy bills, paid for by scrapping Starmer’s planned digital ID scheme. Jones pointed out that the latter had never actually been funded — meaning the new PM will have to find nearly a billion quid, either in cuts or tax rises, to pay for his opening policy pledge. You don’t find that sort of shrapnel down the back of the sofa. It was an early drive-by against the new PM — and it did the trick. Newly promoted Business Secretary Jonny Reynolds, sent out to do the ­morning round of media, faced a barrage of questions about whether or not ­Burnham’s numbers stacked up. The big question now being asked in Westminster is whether all this is a sign of things to come. Will Cabinet ministers who have been brutally sacked now launch a guerilla war against the new regime, from the backbenches? Burnham has opened up a fresh north-south divide on his very first day Credit: EPA Darren Jones tweeted just before 8am to have a go at Burnham’s first policy announcement Credit: PA Burnham swept to power on a promise to end the bitter backstabbing and ­fighting that has plagued Labour during their two years in government. He ran for Labour leader unopposed. His was a bloodless coup. But his first act as PM was to brutally knife a dozen Cabinet ministers who had remained loyal to Starmer. Many of those sacked had not seen it coming. David Lammy had prepared himself for being stripped of the Deputy PM title, but thought he would be kept in Cabinet. Steve Reed wanted to stay on as Housing Secretary — and he used his departure letter to pointedly say that he had shown Starmer “loyalty” when others had not. Sacked Chancellor Rachel Reeves is said to have been offered a “big job” — thought to be Education Secretary — but turned it down. The Cabinet cull was “score-settling”, one insider said. “They have just given jobs to their mates.” Burnham is nicknamed King Of The North and it is Northerners who have been the winners in his reshuffle — 15 Cabinet ministers represent Northern seats, while the South has just six. The biggest winner was Louise Haigh, the Sheffield MP who quit as Transport Secretary in 2024 after it emerged she was convicted for fraud in her twenties. She is now the de facto Deputy PM. Within Labour circles, talk has already turned to who could be the King Of The South — and a possible rival to Burnham. For now, most think the new PM will get a honeymoon. Labour MPs are knackered and don’t have the stomach for a summer civil war. But Burnham has opened up a fresh North-South divide on his very first day. As one insider said: “Labour MPs are ­rattled that there has been a Manchester mafia takeover at No10. Soon enough, people will be looking at who could be King Of The South.” If they do find that person, it could mean war. I SPENT 12 hours in Downing Street on Monday watching Sir Keir Starmer bid farewell to No10 and Andy Burnham arrive as his replacement. Burnham is Britain’s seventh PM in ten years and us political hacks are now pretty used to the changing of the guard. There were quite a few yawns as we kicked our heels at that famous address waiting for our new leader to arrive. But there was one star captivating our attention – Larry the Cat. He has been No10’s chief mouser since 2011, when David Cameron brought him home from the Battersea rescue centre. Many of the international reporters sent to Downing Street on Monday tried to get selfies with him. Prime Ministers come and go but Larry is the real king of Downing Street. A REEL GREEK THRILL The Odyssey will drag Kate to the cinema Credit: PA IT takes a lot to drag me to the cinema nowadays. Call me old-fashioned, but most of the dross shown doesn’t tempt me away from a nice Hitchcock flick and a bag of sweets at home on the sofa. But there is one film I’m very excited about seeing – The Odyssey. Christopher Nolan’s star-studded epic is meant to be a triumph. I love the ancient tale that is Homer’s Odyssey, about a Greek hero’s gruelling ten-year journey to get home from war to his wife Penelope after the Trojan War. My favourite ever film was Jason And The Argonauts – the Sixties classic about ancient hero Jason’s search for the Golden Fleece. Hopefully, The Odyssey will be a box-office smash and usher in a new era of films about similar classical tales. Perhaps it will transform us all into a nation of history buffs. BROKEN BLOKES ALAS, chivalry is dead. I was on a packed train the other day when older women were having to stand. I gave up my seat to one of the very grateful ladies but not a single man offered. The carriage was full of men in their twenties, thirties and forties relaxing in their seats. Despite my pointed stares, not a single one of them took the hint.Britain used to be known for its manners. But the men just plugged in their earbuds and gazed out the window. Blokes must do better. SPLICE GIRL IS MY NO1 Melanie C stunned in a slinky white dress as she tied the knot Credit: Andrew Timms MELANIE C has married her man, actor and model Chris ­Dingwall. Good for her. Growing up, Sporty was my favourite Spice Girl. She was cool, unapologetically tomboy and had rock-hard abs. She taught my generation what Girl Power was all about. Well, she swapped her signature Adidas tracksuit for a slinky white dress as she tied the knot in the grounds of a country house. And she looked gorgeous. Congrats, Melanie. MAKES ME GO APE A MONKEY was found abandoned on a bus in London. Luckily, the RSPCA has taken care of the poor soul, which they have named Oyster after the travelcard. But the heartbreaking tale reminded me of other times when monkeys have been abandoned. In 2013, Justin Bieber tried to take his pet capuchin into Germany without the proper checks. Officials seized the creature at Munich Airport, holding it in temporary quarantine. But Bieber never even bothered to get back in touch, so his monkey ended up being taken in by a German wildlife park. Pet owners need to stop monkeying around. Welcoming an animal into your family is a privilege – and it is for life. Dumping them on buses or at airports because you just can’t be bothered any more is unacceptable. I hope whoever dumped Oyster is found and has the book thrown at them. HAS anyone else noticed pastries are getting ever bigger. The other day I walked past one of my favourite bakeries and they had a pain au chocolat the size of my head. I love the chocolatey croissant. It reminds me of nipping to the bakery as a teenager for my breakfast on a Sunday. But they have got too big. It’s a croissant arms race and will end in mass destruction – of my ­waistline, at least. Master bakers, please rein it in.