5 Easy Ways to Meet People in a New City, According to Experts

Whether it’s for a new job, your partner, or just needing a change, moving to a new city is a step into the unknown. I’ve done that very thing several times throughout my life, and one thing is certain: meeting people in a new city requires effort.Last year, after my dog, Bowie, passed away just two weeks after I got laid off from my job, I took it as a sign from the universe to temporarily relocate to Naples, Italy. Not only was this a step away from everything I knew, but it also meant trying to make new friends in both a city and country that were not my own. The verdict? Some days were a struggle, but overall, I can now say I have friends in Naples.So all that’s to say: it’s possible, dear reader. And just in case you don’t want to solely take my word for it, I went ahead and tapped a few experts on the matter. Below, they share a few tips on just how to meet people—both romantic and platonic—in a new city.Join a group activityNot only have I moved to new cities throughout my life, but I’m also a frequent solo traveler. One of my favorite ways to socialize is by joining food tours or group day trips. I have made lifelong friends from simple walking tours, so it’s no surprise the experts suggest this.Group activities can vary, of course—from dancing classes to team sports—but it ultimately comes down to just “doing something together,” says sexologist Melanie Eichhorn, who’s head of sexual education and diversity at Satisfyer. “It gives you a natural reason to talk, and you see the same faces week after week.” This can be a group workout class, an activity you already know you enjoy, or a new hobby.“Hobbies are a great way to meet new people, since you'll often have something immediately in common,” adds Eloise Skinner, an author and psychotherapist. “You’ll also have an activity to complete, which can help reduce any anxiety about not knowing what to do or say.” Skinner suggests following your interests. If you love crafting, find a crafting club. Or if reading is your thing, search up a few book clubs or pop into a indie bookstore to see if they’re offering one.Group activities are a great way to meet friends, yes, but they also can be avenues that lead to a potential romantic partnership, whether with that person in the group or someone they may know. “Hobby-focused activities allow for a sense of consistency where you can get to know someone on a friendship level first, and then allow time for it to deepen into something else,” says Skinner.Become a “regular” somewhereI did this by happenstance during my early days in Naples. I was walking around one day and struggling with my phone, so I popped into a small bar to use their WiFi. I got a glass of wine, connected to their network, and ended up making small talk with the bartender. I started going back once or twice a week because it was a familiar place, and the bartender ended up introducing me to other regulars and his coworkers, and each of them became my friend. I’m living proof that this works, and the experts agree on the method.“If you're often hanging out at particular places, you might have something in common with others who are in the same spaces,” Skinner explains. “For example, your local coffee shop, co-working space, or gym, these are sometimes known as 'third spaces,’ which can provide an opportunity for us to explore different parts of our identity and feel a sense of belonging in a deeper way than we might at work or at home.”The idea is that, if you and someone frequent the same place, you already have something common, and there might be more shared interests between you.Ask to be introduced to peopleLet’s say you’ve made at least one or two friends in your new city, but you’re looking for a romantic partnership or even more friends. There’s no harm in asking your new acquaintances to introduce you to people they know.“Meeting friends through existing friends is a great way to connect,” Skinner says. “We already know that the new friend is likely to have some degree of overlap in values and lifestyle with our existing friend group, and it can be a safe way to connect with a stranger.”Ask your old friends back in the city you moved away from too. “Maybe a friend from home knows someone in your new city and can connect you,” says Eichhorn. “Meeting through a mutual contact feels more relaxed, because you already have something in common.”Go to eventsAs someone who has moved many times, I hate to tell you that, unfortunately, you actually have to put yourself out there. For a social introvert, this might seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be—events don’t always mean massive gatherings, and can sometimes be much smaller scale.“Neighborhood events like street festivals, flea markets, or community gatherings are a great way to meet people who live nearby, and they make your new city feel like home much faster,” Eichhorn says. “Go where life is happening, and be willing to step outside your comfort zone. Say yes to invitations, start the conversation, suggest a coffee after class. It may feel awkward at first, but that small step is often what turns a familiar face into a real connection.”Seek community onlineFinally, don’t knock online community. This doesn’t just mean dating apps, though that is a viable choice, too. For example, you can search for volunteer work or things to do in local Facebook groups. Utilizing sites like Meetup.com or Eventbrite also provides opportunities to make friends without dating pressure.“There are apps for romantic connections and apps for platonic friendships,” Eichhorn says. “They let you find out in a low-pressure way whether someone is interested in you before you meet in person. For many shy people, that first step is much easier to take from behind a screen. It can also help to set yourself small, realistic challenges.”When putting yourself out there, whether for new friends, a new job, or a new partner, rejection is going to be part of the process. Eichhorn suggests it’s good to hear it. “Remember: the worst thing that can happen is a ‘no,’” she says. “You can even see that as a chance to practice handling it calmly, which is a valuable skill in every part of life.”